Relationship and Couples Therapy experts in Northern VA

Couples therapy for one?

At Mend Couples Therapy, we approach individual therapy with a relational view, focusing on both your journey as an individual, and the involvement of your relationships in the broader picture of your life. We are a product of our relationships. This is a basic truth about all of us, and there’s no getting around that. We are passionate about the idea that no one can or should go through life alone. 

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One of our most basic needs as a mammal is belonging and protection. The way we answer the question, “Who has my back?” can reveal much about our resilience during stressful times. Let’s face it…no one gets through life without stress and challenges. The DC Metro area is filled with ambitious, highly capable adults who are used to success through perseverance and hard work. We also are used to relying mostly on ourselves and our problem solving to fix our distress. Using these strategies, many of us can cope well for a good while. But for this, we pay a heavy price. The more we have to cope on our own with strong feelings like sadness, anger and fear, the more likely we are to burn out our short-term coping strategies and become either anxious or depressed.

In individual therapy, we help you understand your coping patterns and how they impact your ability to reach to those around you…and why sometimes, that’s a good thing!  Some folks come into therapy knowing they are repeating patterns in unfulfilling relationships and want to uncover their part in the problem. Other folks seek treatment with a vaguer sense that their life is just not working. Either way, we know that there are many problems that are unfixable, and you don’t need advice or pro/cons lists from us. We want to help by creating a safe way to explore how you make sense, and what your strong emotions can tell us about what you need from those around you. We like to call this: learning to trust your gut again, or maybe for the first time, ever.

So…who has your back?

We hope are approach resonates with you. You can read more in our Frequently Asked Questions section below!


Our promises to you about your care

    • We will not diagnose or demonize the important people in your life…this is not helpful or appropriate
    • We will not challenge you on what you should be doing…you make sense just as you are.

    •  We will help you learn to trust your gut again.

    • We will get to the core of the issue.

    • We do not know what you should do about your life, but we can help you tune in to your feelings and the needs implicit in them.

    • We welcome your thoughts and feelings no matter how scary, ugly or painful.

    There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you
    — Maya Angelou
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    Individual Therapy FAQ

    What model of therapy do you use?

     

    We use EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) for individuals. EFT is based on the neuroscience of attachment and emotions as driving forces in our lives. You can learn more about EFT and the research behind it by clicking here


    Do you have special training with individuals?

    Melissa and Jill both have advanced training in EFT, and specifically EFIT (Emotionally Focused Therapy with individuals). Jill has been at the forefront of growing EFIT in the DC area, training dozens of therapists and consulting with the leaders in this field of study.


    What type of issues do you regularly see in your office?

    Depression, anxiety, general sadness, confusion about life choices, distressed relationships, divorce recovery, low self-esteem, and parenting issues are common focuses of therapy.


    How is EFT for Individuals different from other therapies?

    In EFT, we don’t challenge your thinking or focus on coping skills. We help you make friends with your feelings and intuition, and we do it in our office rather than through homework assignments. It is an experiential model that focuses on the connection between your thoughts, body sensations, feelings, and your behaviors.


    Is EFT right for me?

    EFT for individuals is a good fit for folks with a very wide array of life concerns. It is not a good fit if you want advice, homework, or to avoid talking about feelings. Our office may not be a good fit if you are in high levels of distress which require multiple contacts or appointments per week, as we are unable to meet those needs on an ongoing basis. Don’t worry- together, we will figure out the best treatment plan to meet your needs. Sometimes this means that we will refer you to a colleague with a different approach.



    What if I have more questions, or I’m ready to get started?

    We can’t wait to hear from you! We are always happy to answer questions to help you determine if we are the best providers for you, or to book an initial appointment. You can call us at (703) 687-6797 or contact us here